The Privacy Policy

Who am I?

My name is Stuart. My website address is: Of course, you really should know that already seeing as you’re looking at it!

What personal data I collect and I we collect it


When visitors leave comments on the site I collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.

An anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. The Gravatar service privacy policy is available here: After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment.


If you upload images to the website, you should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to the website can download and extract any location data from images on the website.

Contact forms

The contact form provides me with any information you enter into it. So it stands to reason that if you don’t want to share any personal info, then either A) Don’t use the contact form or B) Only enter information you are happy to share.

I only keep the emails I receive long enough to act on them. If your email isn’t important it gets destroyed immediately and I forget you ever contacted me.


If you leave a comment on my site you may opt-in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will last for one year.

If you have an account and you log in to this site, I will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser.

When you log in, I will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select “Remember Me”, your login will persist for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed.

If you edit or publish an article, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It expires after 1 day.

Embedded content from other websites

Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website.

These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website.


This is Google’s problem. I do use Google Analytics, but I have no idea what I’m doing with it most of the time, so even if any of your personal data was in there, I wouldn’t have a clue where to find it.

Who I share your data with

I dob everyone that visits this site in to Interpol.

That’s a joke, if you didn’t know. I don’t share any of your data with anyone, because nobody is going to pay anything to find out about the 5 morons that visited my website in the last 12 months.

How long we retain your data

If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so I can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.

For users that register on our website (if any), I also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.

What rights you have over your data

If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data I hold about you, including any data you have provided to us. You can also request that I erase any personal data I hold about you. This does not include any data I am obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.

Where I send your data

Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service.

Your contact information

Does this mean ‘your’ as in ‘mine’ or yours? Well whatever, you can’t have my contact information and I don’t want yours. So there. How’s that for privacy?

Additional information

The distance to the moon is exactly the same as the distance from the North Pole to the South Pole.

How I protect your data

I hired that 3-headed dog from Harry Potter to sit on my computer.

What data breach procedures I have in place

If there is a data breach, I’ll probably just say ‘Oh that’s unfortunate’ and then go and watch the telly or make some Toast.

What third parties I receive data from

I don’t receive any data from any third parties. Why would I? I’m not interested in my own data, let alone anyone else’s.

What automated decision making and/or profiling I do with user data

Are you serious now? User profiling?! As if. I haven’t got time to bother ‘profiling’ anyone, ever.

Industry regulatory disclosure requirements

Huh? I don’t even know what this means. This page is getting dumber by the minute.